Funny Birthday Poems
…because poetry can be fun!
Your friends have Birthday? No better way to greet them than to read a couple of funny Birthday poems!
This way, you’ll have a really funny Birthday – buth with a taste of fine poetry as well!
I like the poems I’ve gathered here – they really made me smile. Have better ones? Submit them using the form below!
There is nothing the matter with me.
I’m as healthy as I can be.
I have arthritis in both my knees
And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.
My pulse is weak, and my blood is thin
But I’m awfully well for the shape I’m in.
Arch supports I have for my feet
Or I wouldn’t be able to be on the street.
Sleep is denied me night after night,
But every morning I find I’m all right.
My memory is failing, my head’s in a spin
But I’m awfully well for the shape I’m in.
The moral is this, as my tale I unfold,
That for you and me who are growing old,
It’s better to say “I’m fine” with a grin
Than to let folks know the shape we are in.
How do I know that my youth is all spent?
Well, my “get up and go” just got up and went.
But I really don’t mind when I think with a grin
Of all the grand places my “get up” has been.
Old age is golden, I’ve heard it said;
But sometimes I wonder as I get into bed
With my ears in the drawer my teeth in a cup,
My eyes on the table until I wake up.
Ere sleep overtakes me, I say to myself,
“Is there anything else I could lay on the shelf?”
When I was young my slippers were red,
I could kick my heels over my head
When I was older my slippers were blue,
But I still could dance the whole night through.
Now I am old, my slippers are black,
I walk to the store and puff my way back.
I get up each morning and dust off my wits
And pick up the paper and read the obits.
If my name is still missing, I know I’m not dead
So I fix me some breakfast and go back to bed.
Author Unknown
More funny Birthday poems:
On Turning Fifty
Today I turned fifty. I feel really good.
My body’s still working quite well thanks. (Touch wood!)
My hair’s not too grey, my wrinkles are few,
I can still touch my toes with my knuckles. (Can you?)
I’m quite full of vigour, just getting ripe.
(But they now print the phone book in much smaller type.)
My hearing’s still good. What’s that you say?
Speak clearly, don’t mumble, your voice wafts away.
Inside this old body I’m still young, but then
If life starts at forty, I’m really just ten.
Sue Taylor
Birthday Cake
Why is birthday cake so good?
I love it oh so much!
It’s good to eat – but even more -
I think it’s nice to touch!
It’s squashy pink and sticky white
And stuffed with special goo.
With candy roses on the top -
One time my piece had two!
I like to blow the candles out.
I like to make the wish.
But more than all I like to lick
The frosting off the dish.
Now sundaes are quite wonderful.
Banana splits are fine.
But birthday cake is something else -
Especially if it’s mine!
Bobbi Katz
Happy birthday. Celebrate.
Time to party,
Contemplate.
Dave King
They lied to me!! It doesn’t!!
So life begins at 40?
What idiot said that?
In mini skirt,drunk in the dirt
I think I’d look a pratt!
Your belly starts expanding,
And so does your behind.
Your eyes will dim,your hair go thin
You start to lose your mind.
Inside you feel like twenty,
The mirror tells you no.
It can’t be me,in there I see
Where did my beauty go?
My room is full of face creams,
And hand,and body too.
I’ll rub it on,wrinkles be gone
Oh body,please renew!
So life began at 40?
I think they lied to me.
At 53,with wonky knee
I missed it….obviously!
Lorraine Cole
Thank You
For your Birthday presents
I thank you one and all
For the big ones many thanks
And fewer for the small
William Church
It’s birthday time again I see;
Another year’s gone by.
We’re older than we used to be;
The thought could make me cry.
For getting older is not such fun,
When there’s hurting in your back,
And it’s agony if you have to run,
And a pleasure to lie in the sack.
Yes getting older is quite a bore,
But to not get old is worse.
So “Happy Birthday!” let’s shout once more,
And to heck with our ride in the hearse!
Hooray for getting older! Happy Birthday and many more.
Author Unknown
Another bunch of funny Birthday poems:
Just For You
Birthday wishes I send to you
At this special time
And words I feel I must convey
Written in this rhyme
So lets celebrate, have some fun
Raise the roof with cheer
And prepare for what the future brings
In the coming year
And after you have opened
All your gifts and cards
It’ll be time for us to party
And I don’t mean play charades
So as you blow out all the candles
On your birthday cake
Ponder for a moment
The wish your about to make
Because if wishes really do come true
And I sincerely hope they do
You have a golden opportunity
To make one just for you
James
The Old Walking Song
The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager/weary feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.
The Road goes ever on and on
Out from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
Let others follw it who can!
Let them a journey new begin,
But I at last with weary feet
Will turn towards the lighted inn,
My evening-rest and sleep to meet.
Still round the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate;
And though I oft have passed them by,
A day will come at last when I
Shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the Moon, East of the Sun.
J.R.R. Tolkien
Loved these funny Birthday poems? I trully hope you did. And as I said – if you know better ones – submit them right below, so other people can enjoy them as well!
Cheers!
Submit Your Own Funny Birthday Poems
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